The Joys of SPAM

Fellow blogger Lilly Green (apronhead.wordpress.com) did a post one day about the kind of SPAM she’s received and so I decided to keep track of some SPAM comments from my sites, just for interest sake.

I guess we all wonder what the purpose of SPAM is.  Maybe if you reply they have your e-mail address and can hack you? I believe some comments are coming from bored people in offices overseas, employees surfing the web while the boss is out.  When these people say they like your site, they really mean it.

I receive enough almost-identical comments that I think they are given to people to send out — maybe just to put that company’s address on front of you.  But they aren’t coming from English speaking operators, because the syntax is often jumbled.

Anyway, here’s some I’ve received.  (If you’re someone sending out SPAM, please note that I’ve seen all these already!)

Amazing SPAM:

I posted the haiku poem “Fly by Night”
Wings over hayfield
   moonlight in the hunter’s eyes;
   the grasses tremble.

And received the following comment:
I wish to express my appreciation to this writer just for rescuing me from such a situation.  (Owls?) Because of looking through the world-wide-web and seeing advice that were not productive, I assumed my entire life was done. Existing without the presence of solutions to the difficulties you have sorted out by means of your entire guideline is a critical case, and the kind which might have negatively affected my entire career if I had not noticed your blog. The competence and kindness in handling all the things was very helpful. I don’t know what I would have done if I had not discovered such a subject like this. I am able to at this point look forward to my future. Thank you very much for this professional and sensible guide. I won’t think twice to recommend your web page to anybody who requires guide about this topic.  (My advice in such cases: Stay in after dark.)

Informative SPAM:

While the term “poke salad” is erroneous, Tony Joe White chose to use is in his ever psoplur song, Poke Salad Annie. The plant referenced in the song is, however, poke sallet. So your post is correct, Rob. (Eh?  Rob Who?) I would suggest listening to the duet version with Tony Joe and Johnny Cash for yet another glimpse into the culinary song stylings of the time.

Another Case of Mistaken Identity SPAM:

Dear Mr. George:
I’m a 15-year-old student from Fujian Province rcaoss the Taiwan Channel but I also like reading English dictionaries and have 7 ones. I have been reading English dictionaries since I went to junior school .It has been my favorite activity. And now I am able to read some easy English novels.
I think the LDOCE series is helpful to English beginners like me. But LDOCEs are a bit expensive to me. A few days ago,I got a Collins Cobuild Advanced Learner’s English Dictionary[5th Edition] But I don’t know what its advantages are. Could you introduce it in detail and tell me some good methods for my English study? Thank you very much and spare my poor English reply.

Advertising SPAM of English origin:

After reading your blog post I browsed your website a bit and noticed you aren’t ranking nearly as well in Google as you could be. I possess a handful of blogs myself and I think you should take a look here.  You’ll find it’s a very nice tool that can bring you a lot more visitors. Keep up the quality posts.

Advertising SPAM via computer translation program:

Do not on strike to stick to your schedule, because of the simple fact we should really hold on our tactic and within your finishing collection of our long-term goal, we are able to harvest success. Do not rely concerning the superior devices, beats outlet because of the simple fact the simplified wholesale price tag headsets from Monster beats earphones on collection outlet will provide you with the largest satisfaction. The wholesale price tag headsets from Monster beats by dr dre are already a fabulous offer of proof to show a producer new philosophy of life.

Hilarious SPAM (again a computer translation):

For those who have an extensive ab, your entire armoire will need to have folks gentle clothes in addition to darker coloration. Soft shades usually strengthen all of your big mid-section. Be certain to make sure make use of an actual jacket when it forbids freely flesh approach using transpiring. Rather long sleeve T-shirt can be the right kind just for you. Sidestep minimal midsection jean.
(Who told them I have a big ‘mid-section’?  Does the whole world know?)

Most Frequent SPAM:

I rarely write remarks, but I did a few searching and wound up here / I seldom leave comments but I found this site / I almost never comment, however / after reading a few of the responses here to The Ugly Quarrel | Christine Evelyn Vance Goodnough. I do have 2 questions for you if it’s okay. Could it be just me or do some of the remarks look as if they are written by brain dead individuals?  (Some contain more filler here.)
And, if you are posting at other online social sites, I’d like to follow you.  Would you post a list of the complete URLs of all your public pages like your LinkedIn profile, Facebook page or twitter feed?  (To hack all my sites?  Dream on!)

And now I’d better go see what’s in my SPAM queue today.

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5 thoughts on “The Joys of SPAM

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