The Oddest Things You See at the Mall

Star Trek Days at the Southland Mall in London; we heard the trill of the Star Trek theme soon after we stepped in the door–and every few minutes thereafter.  As we made our way down the mall we saw posters announcing the event and actors wearing uniforms like the crew of the Starship Enterprise.

We got an even bigger surprise when we met up with “Klingons”, with their faces painted dark and long black ropes of hair.  They definitely looked menacing.  On the upper level of the mall a spaceship-stage had been set up where parents could have their children photographed being rescued from the Klingons by the Star Trek crew.

After while I got tired of wandering the mall and decided to sit on a bench by one of the entrances to people-watch for awhile while my husband shopped a bit more.  This mall was set up with the upper level encircled by a glass railing so that you could easily watch people moving around on the two levels.  The place I chose to sit gave me an excellent observation of the comings and goings on both.

At one point I looked up and saw one of these hideous-looking Klingon men come striding along to the elevator and get in, coming down.  On ground level I watched a 50ish-aged woman enter the mall and walk over to the elevator.  All innocence, she pushed the button and waited.

The elevator door opened–and she was face to face with this creature!  She gasped and recoiled in shock.  Before she could get her breath back, the fellow jerked back as if in fright and piped up in a falsetto, “Oh, you scared me!”  Then he wisely exited, stage right, before the lady had collected her wits.

Being an actor I suppose he was prepared for encounters like this, with well-rehearsed lines for every scenario.  But she wasn’t. The dark look she threw at him as he left the scene revealed what she might have said, if she’d had the breath to do so.